Utility of Beliefs
I am trying to engage with this blogging thing, and I had a thought come to me that I wanted to share.
I am a fan of Dr K, the guy who made Healthy Gamer. I found him maybe 5 years ago or so, and have found a lot of his thoughts and solutions to problems to be very novel. Most people do not think how he does, and a lot of the solutions you will find on the net will be meaningfully different compared to his in both philosophy behind it and execution. I will admit, I haven't kept up much recently, and I only really listen for fun now.
Today I was having one of my fun listens where someone was interviewing him.
https://youtu.be/AU9P18gC-UY?si=iMEFVuHeI16tyhkm
It was an interesting video like how most of what Dr K's stuff is. I only got about half way through before writing this post, and if I am being honest I will be surprised if I finish it in the future. It's not that it's bad, I just frequently abandon videos I listen to for fun.
The part of the discussion that really made me want to make this post came from 1:04:08 in the video. It is hard for me to sometimes put my ideas into words, but I am going to try to for this post. Dr K is describing how "beliefs" really don't mean anything for a large portion of time before the timestamp, and is then giving an example to Lewis Howes (the host of the interview) about how thoughts our mind do not have as much meaning as we give them since they frequently repeat. Lewis then replies something along the line of "So it isn't about the thought being good or bad, it is about whether it is serving you" I think this reply is such a huge missing of the point.
I think the idea that our thoughts/beliefs should benefit us is a common one, and it has never really made sense to me, in two main ways. One, what does it mean for a belief to benefit you, and two, why do you decide your beliefs purely on what benefits your goals? Lets say I was a 50 year old man and had a 20 year old son, and my goal in life was for my son to graduate college. Lets also say I decide I am gonna take up this philosophy of having beliefs that benefit me, aka beliefs that help towards my goal of my son getting through college. I pay off his tuition, I call him up occasionally to make sure he knows someone cares, I help him out when he needs it, all because I believe that if I do these things he will graduate college. Then, one night I get a visit from a crisis intervention group telling me that my son tragically died by getting hit by a drunk driver. If I genuinely engaged with this philosophy of having beliefs that benefit me, there is no way I would buy this guys statement. Why would I believe that my son is dead if it doesn't benefit my goal? That belief is basically telling me that the goal I set out for myself, for my son to graduate college, is now impossible. Gone. To the wind. It is as lacking in utility in my goal as believing my son is a loser who refuses to show up to class.
Obviously not believing the dude from crisis intervention would be ridiculous. I also believe that most people who agree with Lewis would tell me that the example I just gave was silly, and that isn't what they are talking about. I think the argument they would give would be more in the line of "When we say to choose beliefs that benefit us, we are talking about not giving into the negative thought spirals of 'I'm a loser'. That isn't a belief that helps your goals, so you should abandon it." My retort to that is 'So what?' The belief of 'I'm a loser' should not be bound by what helps you but what is real! If there was undeniable proof in front of your eyes that you are a loser, you SHOULD believe you are a loser! If me, the 50 year old man, went out and saw my son's brains splattered on the pavement, I SHOULD believe my son is dead! Now, if I am being fair, I cannot conceive of a piece of evidence that would tell me whether I am a loser, or whether you are a loser, but if it existed, it should be believed.
I am not sure if I am making my point clear in this haha. This is really just a typing exercise for me. My overall point is that I do not think it is fair for people to form their beliefs off of utility rather than forming them off of the reality that is put in front of you. Lewis' serving idea that you should believe what serves you is encouragement t0 be delusional if for some reason, it benefits your goal. I don't think that is a reasonable way to approach the world.